Sometimes It’s Best To Give Up The Driver’s Seat

My post this week is on the speaker by the name of Baba Shiv http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/en/baba_shiv_sometimes_it_s_good_to_give_up_the_driver_s_seat.html  The title of his speech is called “Sometimes It’s Best To Give Up The Driver’s Seat”.  This speech was absolutely breathtaking. Baba Shiv described an harrowing event that one day, in one form or another everyone will have to face, the prospect of a loved one facing a life or death situation and you having to face the doctors and make a decision that may or may not save their lives, but it has to be made, and made quickly. Everything was on the line. As I was listening to his speech, I couldn’t help but go back in my head to the same situation that I had been in two years earlier.  My husband was diagnosed with cancer and doctors were throwing questions at us in the same way.  I was drawn to this speech, hoping that I would experience and learn how this couple grappled to make it through.  I think everyone in that audience was on pens and needles too!  They too wanted to know what did they did and what the outcome was?

What struck me funny was the fact, however, that Baba was candidly talking about the incident with poise, confidence, and strength.  This, I feel further drew the audience into the talk, anxious to hear what he had to say because he seemed so in control, but yet his topic was just the opposite, just let go!  This added to the intrigue and suspense of what he was going to say.  The audience is at his feet now, groveling, foaming at the mouth, and hanging onto his every word!  Then he delivers the punch!

He says that it wasn’t the fact that his wife had cancer that was so harrowing, as it was the decisions they had to make it through.  He said that most people would decide to take the lead in making the decisions, but since he was an expert in decision-making, he wasn’t so sure.  He further draws the audience in by pretending that they were going to participate in a study to find out if being in the driver’s seat and making the decisions versus being a passenger and letting the experts make the decision.  This built trust on the part of the audience.  He allowed them to participate and experience the results.

 I learned from Baba to speak from the heart.  Get the audience involved.  Stay in control and be confident.  I also learned that in a person’s personal and professional life, we all will face some difficult decisions and when we are facing the I.N.C.A. (immediate, negative, concrete, and you’re the agent), take the passenger seat!